or, “Roman Hands, Thracian Fists, and Dacian Feet”

Misadventuring in the Roman Empire
with Risus: The Anything RPG © 1993-2001 by S. John Ross
Everything else © 2002 Guy Gregory Hoyle

Roman Cliches
These clichés are appropriate for any character within the Roman Empire. Some of them are restricted to certain backgrounds, as noted within the cliché itself. All characters in the campaign will be from one of the following types of backgrounds:

• Patrician
  The governing elite of Rome. Those from this background usually seek military or governmental offices, and are forbidden to engage in commerce,a nd ultimately the Senate.They must maintain a high level of wealth (derived from land holdings) to retain their status. Senators, high governmental officials, and most Priests are of this rank.
  N.B.: Sons are expected to be clients of their father, unless they have achieved an office of their own. The head of the family has absolute control over the other members of his family.
• Equestrian
  Originally the knightly class of the Republic, most Equestrian families follow an upper middle-class lifestyle and derive income from the businesses and property they own. Their sons are often sent to watch over their father’s interests or run his errands.
  Variation: Impoverished Patrician.
• Plebeian
  Anybody who isn’t a slave, a freedman, an equestrian, or a patrician; you might simply be a common citizen or an immigrant foreigner.
  Variations: wealthy plebeian; son of a legionnaire
• Freedman
  Formerly a slave, you were liberated through your master’s action (a reward, a bequest, etc.) or by earning enough to buy your own freedom. Many civil servants were freedmans. An ambitious freedman could become a wealthy or powerful plebeian; an unambitious or unskilled one was often doomed to poverty.
• Slave
  Though the property of someone else, a slave could earn money or power by having useful skills; many civil servants were slaves. Many aspired to purchase their own freedom. Many slaves preferred to be slaves if they worked for a kind or powerful master, since he provided room and board for them.
• Foreigner
  From countries like Egypt orGreece; still barbarians, but not as uncivilized as a Pict or a German.
• Barbarian
  Unwashed and uncouth, frequently warlike. Picts, scots, hivernians, arabs are all examples.
• Acrobat
  Juggle, walk tightrope, amuse audiences, wear funny clothes, be nimble, be sure-footed
  Variations: Tumbler, contortionist
  Background: any except Equestrian or Patrician
• Advisor
  Advise ruler, cite precedent, talk for hours, speak with authority, debate minutiae, know history and laws
  Background: any
  Variations: Scheming Kingmaker, Dedicated Public Servant, Self-Serving Bureaucrat
• Amorous Scoundrel
  Go without sleep, run from enraged spouse, leap out window, caress passionately, endear with a look, virility under duress, be attractive and charming
  Background: any. Patricians are scandalized by this kind of behavior, though.
  Variations: Seductress, Libertine, Ladies’ Man, Hussy, Philanderer
• Alchemist (Pharmakon)
  Brew useful but noxious potions, analyze somebody else’s noxious potions, learn about obscure poisons, write recipes in a complex code, blow up lab on a regular basis
  Background: any. Patricians would not be employed as a pharmakon, but they could have these skills.
  Variations: Poisoner
• Arena Hunter
  Hunt exotic game for arena, organize expedition, survive in the wild, tramp stealthily, know nature lore, know territory, palaver with natives
  Background: any except Patrician; barbarians and foreigners.
  Variations: Hard-bitten Trapper, Sadistic Animal Trainer, Greedy Arena Factor
• Artist
  Be sensitive, suck up to potential patrons, defend artistic vision, suffer for your art
  Background: Any except Patrician and Equestrian.
  Variations: Sculptor, Painter, Mosaic Tiler, Playwright, Actor
• Athlete
  Run faster, jump higher, climb faster, throw farther than anybody else
  Background: any except slave
• Beggar
  Grovel convincingly, show crippling injury, flatter gullible passersby, spin tale of woe, collect juicy gossip, rummage through garbage heaps, eat stuff that would gag an orc, sleep in alleys and on doorsteps
  Background: any except Patrician and Equestrian (though they could formerly have been of those ranks).
  Variations: Vagabond, Tramp, Mendicant, Panhandler, Freeloader
• Bounty Hunter
  Hunt outlaws, hunt barbarians, track through the wilderness, stalk through cities
  Backgrounds: Barbarians looking for rewards; greedy or revenge-seeking Romans
  Variations: Opportunistic , Vengeful, Greedy, Famous, Infamous, Bloodthirsty
• Boxer
  Fight without weapons or armor, float like butterfly/sting like bee, register fists as deadly weapons
  Background: Plebeian, freedman
  Variations: Professional, Amateur, Corrupt, Honorable
• Buffoon
  Wear funny clothes, make witty observations about people at the court who hopefully won’t get mad and have you killed, embarrass that guy you don’t like, make everybody realize just how witty you really are, take a pratfall, juggle as if your life depended on it, caper and prance
• Charioteer
  React quickly, lay on the lash, survive crashes, evaluate horses, maintain chariots, know odds
  Background: often slaves or freedmen; successful drivers might rise in rank.
  Variations: Despised, Greedy, Famous, Infamous, Corrupt
• Christian Priest
  Denounce heresy, minister to flock, proselytize, organize secret meetings, teach Scripture, endure persecution, perform marriage, baptize infant, convert unbeliever
  Variations: Kindly, Arrogant, Condescending, Saintly
• Christian
  Hide beliefs, meet secretly, witness to others, proselytize, hide sacred paraphernalia, endure persecution, render unto Caesar
  Background: any. Christians are often persecuted and must hide their religion from outsiders.
  Variations: Rabble-Rousing Missionary, Covert Acolyte, Devout Pilgrim, Future Martyr
• Civil Servant
  Produce red tape, accumulate wealth and power, shuffle papers, produce voluminous reports, create organizational system only you can understand, say things in a way that people will be afraid to admit they don’t understand, supervise subordinates, keep your eyes open and your mouth shut
  Backgrounds: Slaves, Freedmans, Former Roman officers
  Variations: Capable Functionary, Greedy Procurator, Meddlesome Administrator, Devious Civil Servant, Cowardly Secretary, Honest Magistrate
• Courier (Auriga)
  Carry dispatches, convey orders, deliver reports, be resourceful, complete assignment at all costs
  Variations: Scupulous, Careless, Traitorous
• Craftsman
  Craft, make minor Equipment, Find Necessary Supplies, Haggle; Inspired, Patient
  Background: slave, freedman, plebeian
  Variations: Silversmith, jeweller, mason, potter, weaver, cook, baker, leatherworker, laundress, woodcrafter, brewer
• Diplomat
  Carry important messages, be an emissary, pal around with foreign courtiers, indulge in intrigue, keep your eyes and ears open, know what to kiss and when, know about what’s in vogue
  Background: Equestrian or patrician class
  Variations: No-nonsense Envoy, Jaded Ambassador
• Diviner
  Cast horoscope, examine livers, read palms, interpret omens, gaze into crystal ball, examine head-bumps, read cards, read tea leaves, dowse for water, use ouija board, look in magic scrying pool, read runes, find prophecies in sacred books, interpret dreams, cast lots, psychometry
  Variations: Convincing Fraud, Self-Deluded Fortune-Teller, Wealthy Astrologer, Greedy Haruspex, Priestly Augur
• Entertainer
  Juggle things, sing funny songs, tell lame jokes, do funny voices, imitate local celebrities
  Background: any but Patrician or Equestrian
  Variations: Wacky Juggler, Lame Comedian, Sonorous Soliloquist, Nimble Prestidigitator, Exotic Dancer
• Explorer
  Get antsy when you’re home too long, go somewhere nobody else has ever heard of, meet people you can’t talk to, stumble on lost civilizations, collect exotic memorabilia, tell stories about how you got that scar, learn scandalous phrases in foreign languages
  Background: often a merchant or sailor, sometimes a wealthy equestrian or patrician
• 
  Fisherman
  Fish, build boat, repair nets, make traps, know the local waters, brag about the one that got away
  Background: slave, freedman, plebeian
• Gang Member
  Defend turf or patron, know streets, evade capture, stand up for your gang, persuade violently
  Background: ex-gladiators, young nobles looking for trouble or serving tough-willed clients, former soldiers, urban poor
  Variations: Young Noble Bully, Street-Bred Tough, Struggling Ex-Soldier, Swaggering Ex-Gladiator, Ponderous Thug, Belligerent Mook
• Gladiator
  Salute the emperor because you’re about to die, fight with odd weapons and too little armor, please the crowd, flex muscles impressively, “it’s just a scratch”, kill opponents entertainingly, learn clever ways to “die” convincingly
  Background: Barbarian, Slave
  Variations: Enslaved Pit-Fighter, Famous Professional Gladiator, Crazed Crusher, Reluctant, Bloodthirsty, Sadistic, Famous, Infamous, Wealthy, Greedy, Ex-
• Healer
  Bind wounds, split broken bones, know herbal lore, treat illness
  Variations: Discrete Physician, Crusty Old Sawbones, Rustic Herbalist, Embittered Combat Medic, Devout Faith Haler
• Hedge Wizard
  Find lost possessions, craft protective amulets, scare away vermin and unwelcome visitors, create sleeping potion, cure minor ills, use natural properties of plants and animals
• Herder
  Care for herd, train dog, butcher herd animals, run long distance, listen to endless stream of off-color jokes about herders and their herds
  Background: slave, freedman, plebeian
• Innkeeper
  Keep a tidy inn, throw out ruffians, provide food and drink, keep valuables safe
  Background: plebeian
  Variations: Nosy Landlord, Generous Taverner, King's Hosteler, Long-Suffering Bartender, Buxom Serving Wench, Burly Barmaid
• Lawyer
  Plead case, investigate suspect, make speech, fake evidence, obfuscate, bribe official
  Background: Patrician or Equestrian
  Variations: Greedy, Corrupt, Crusading, Famous, Infamous, Struggling, Poor, Streetwise, Self-Promoting, Overconfident
• Legionnaire
  Perform duty, esprit de corps, take orders from your superiors, give orders to your subordinates, know the regulations, complain about the food, stand watch, complain about “the brass”, maintain discipline on the battlefield, gamble and drink and wench off duty
  Background: Cannot be of Equestrian or Senatorial ranks. Must be a free Roman citizen.
  Variations: Bumbling Veteran, Green Young Recruit, Dashing Young Officer, Grizzled Old Campaigner, Pious Mithraist
• Magician
  Make talismans and amulets, ward off evil eye, bring luck, ward off danger from building or property, defend walls or gates, create guardian statues, make sacred stones, bring luck and prosperity, repulse danger, avert ill-will, reverse sterility, prevent illness, oppose harmful testimony, protect from curses
  Background: Any (though Equestrians and Patricians who do are known magician can face severe penalties or be stripped of their rank)
  Variations: Good, evil
• Mariner
  Live on a ship, never get seasick, say things like “arr, matey” and “landlubber”, wear little or no armor, batten down the hatches, swab the deck, climb the rigging, man the fo’c’sl, get tattoos, wear a ring in your ear, have a girl in every port, dance a hornpipe
• Medium
  Hold seance, enter trance, contact spirit guide, contact the dead, speak in spooky voices, interpret knocks on the walls by spirits of the dear departed, speak in spooky voices
• Merchant
  Buy cheap and sell dear, haggle haggle haggle!, know what things cost, keep an eye on your stuff, organize caravan, carry heavy stuff, pick up the local gossip
• Midwife
  Know signs of pregnancy, tend mother-to-be, spread old wive's tales, terminate pregnancy
• Military Ttribune?
  Plan battle, lead troops, lead sortie, spy on enemy, command auxiliaries, carry message
  Background: Equestrian or Senatorial rank or family, impoverished Patrician
• Mithraist
• Mithraic Priest
  ---
• Mystic
  Seek enlightenment, meditate upon obscure philosophical dilemmas, avoid unnecessary confrontations (but not the necessary ones), use obscure quotations from dead philosophers and strange folk wisdom, feign death, leave body, levitate self, don’t own more than you can carry
  Background: Foreigner from the east (e.g., Asia, India or China)
• Necromancer
  Summon spirits of the deceased, harrow up the dead, look good in black, be spooky, hang around in graveyards and ancient battlefields, exorcise ghosts
• Orphic
  Play lyre, sing, recite poetry, enchant listeners, teach about reincarnation
  Background Usually Greek or Asian
• Outlaw
  Spit in the face of authority, scoff at the law, rob wayfarers and passersby, live in unpleasant places, disguise yourself as harmless local, travel lightly, watch your back, brag about the bounty on your head
  Background: almost any, such as escaped slave, ex-gladiator, impoverished patrician's son, bloodthirsty ex-harlot, highly principalled philosopher
  Variations: Freedom-Loving Rebel, Fugitive from Justice, Reluctant Gangster
• Pacifist
  Resist passively, don’t fight (even to defend yourself or others), tell others not to fight, resolve conflicts peaceably, don’t wear armor, get beaten up a lot, get killed (usually only done once)
• Pagan Priest
  Perform ceremony, supervise charity, perform divination, teach theology, give advice
  Variations: Patrician, Equestrian, Plebeian, Kind, Generous, Corrupt

• Patrician
  Hold office, debate endlessly, set good example, be educated, live lavishly, behave condescendingly, command respect, have a lot of influence, keep the peasants in their place, demand the best things in life, go hunting and riding, wear fancy clothing
  Variations: Honest, Strong-Willed, Patriotic, Corrupt, Lecherous, Decadent, Thrill-Seeking, Young, Impoverished, Debauched
• Philosopher
  Indulge curiosity, know lots of obscure facts, carry around bundles of esoteric equipment, collect thousands of specimens, know astrology, take measurements and make calculations, lecture authoritatively, debunk critics, denounce rival, look scruffy
• Platonist: Find ways to improve things, concentrate on the mind and soul
• Pythagorean: “Number is all”, manipulate through astrology and numerology, attempt to abolish irrational numbers, purify soul through successive lives through intellectual activities
• Megaran: Give lectures, debate everything, make people do things they don’t know they want to do
• Milesians: Make calculations, draw up complicated plans, observe the heavens
• Cynics: Don’t believe what your senses tell you, deliver unpleasant truths without flinching, hopelessly and shamelessly offend
• Stoics: Endure hardship, ignore suffering, pay no heed to pleasure
• Epicurians: Experience everything, disregard unpleasant experiences, free self and others from fear (not the same as boldness)
• Pirate
  Sail the seas, attack ships, ransom wealthy prisoners, climb the rigging, say things like “Sink me fer a lubber!” and “Shiver me timbers!”, have an eyepatch or a peg leg or a hook
  Background: Greek, Phoenician
  Variations: Dashing Privateer, Grizzled Sea Dog, One-Eyed Buccaneer, Ouzo-Swilling Freebooter
• Police/Fireman (Vigile)
  Patrol neighborhood, put out fires, spot crimes, enforce law, look for danger, use own judgement
  Background: freedmen, others
• Roman Politician
  Speak publicly, know laws, seek office, serve Rome (without pay), know Greek, enhance reputation, maintain wealthy lifestyle, know important people
  Background: Equestrian or Senatorial rank or family, impoverished Patrician
  Variations: Corrupt, Virtuous
• Foreign Ruler
  Look imposing, bluster, debate, compromise, rally followers, keep followers happy, find weakness in argument, negotiate
  Variations: Foreign Despot, Tribal Chieftain, Barbarian King, Crafty Usurper, Beloved Queen, Despised Tyrant, Reluctant Dictator, Puppet Monarch
• Scholar
  Know lots of obscure lore, write down everything, be an expert on something, act as if you know something about everything else, criticize rivals, flatter patrons
• Scout
  Live in the wild, hunt game, trap small animals, know the lay of the land, watch enemy troop movements, size up danger, be self-reliant, be uncomfortable out of your element
  Background: barbarian, ex-legionnaire
  Variations: Pathfinder, Frontiersman
• Secret Agent
  Sneak around, decode secret messages, eavesdrop, stay out of the way, work undercover, know foreign languages, give report, kill people, wear cheesy disguises, use interesting poisons
  Note: may be working for private citizens, political parties, a wealthy patron, or the government (or any combination thereof)
  Variations: Informer, Spy, Infiltrator, Investigator
• Sharpshooter
  Hit a fly’s eye at 100 yards, be rock-steady, be extremely protective of your equipment
  Background: Barbarian, Legionnaire
  Variations: Eagle-eyed Archer, Trick Knife Thrower
• Shipwright
  Build Ship, Patch Leaks, Make Sails, Boil Pitch, Career Ship
• Slave
  Obey master, endure beatings, swallow pride, sieze opportunities, explain self, keep ears open and mouth shut
  Variations: Ambitious, lazy, rebellious, talented, beautiful, ex-
• Smith
  Make things out of metal, ignore burns, impressive muscles, evaluate metalwork, snarl at lazy apprentice
  Background: slave, freedman, plebeian
  Variations: blacksmith, weaponsmith
• Smuggler
  Fence illicit goods, feign innocence, have connections, appraise goods, obtain forged documents, conceal identity, have an escape plan
  Background: any
• Soldier of Fortune
  Getting paid for fighting, getting tricked out of being paid by evil patron who hired you, looking to be hired by a non-evil patron, gambling and drinking and wenching your pay away
  Background: Usually a Barbarian or a former Legionnaire
  Variations: Avaricious Mercenary, Idealistic Sellsword, Heartbroken Footslogger
• Sorcerer
  Make trouble, afflict with boils, poison wells, afflict cattle, cause plague, pretend not to be a sorcerer
• Tenant Farmer
  Grow food, raise livestock, kill varmints, gripe about taxes, talk about weather
  Background: slave, freedman, plebeian
• Thief
  Steal valuables, purloin treasure, filch a fortune, pilfer swag, cut purses, burgle shops, loot coffers, ransack vaults, slink warily, shadow victims, strike from behind, fence booty, bypass booby traps, scale obstacles
  Variations: Deft Cutpurse, Dashing Highwayman, Gentleman Jewel-Thief
• Village Crone
  Cackle menacingly, prepare corpse, tell how much better things used to be, hide valuables away, know secret
  Background: Any except Equestrian, Senatorial, or Impoverished Patrician
• Village Priest
  Bless crops and cattle, perform marriages, bless newborns, perform funerals, perform auguries, serve the gods
  Background: Any except Equestrian, Senatorial, or Impoverished Patrician
• Weapon Master
  Single-minded devotion to mastering one type of weapon, not being able to master other types of weapons, being able to do cool things with the type of weapon that you can maste
  Background: Most likely barbarian or gladiator.
  Variations: World-weary Swordslinger, Eager Young Duellist, Lord of the Lash

BARBARIAN CLICHES
Romans consider anyone who is not a Roman citizen to be a barbarian. However, in this context, we’ll only consider the stereotypical barbarians like the Celts, the Picts, the Scytheans, and the Germans, and all those like them; all other non-Romans (such as the Egyptians, the Persians, etc.) are referred to as “Foreigners”. Many other clichés above are well-suited to barbarians (e.g., gladiator, soldier of fortune, soldier, gang member, chariot driver, scout, arena hunter, etc.)

• Amazon
  Stand up for yourself to any patronizing male, show women how to fend for themselves, show those bully-boys who’s better
  Background: usually a Barbarian (Scot/Pict, German, Scythean, perhaps a descendant of the legendary Amazons from a lost civilization)
• Barbarian
  Glower menacingly at soft city dwellers, complain about the filthy streets, praise the virtues of living in a crude lean-to in your faraway homeland, forget to shower except when it rains ,heft a mean battleaxe, perform amazing feats of martial prowess, have a wyrd or geas
  Variations: Filthy German, Woad-stained Scot/Pict, Scythian Horseman, African Tribesman
• Berserker
  Ignore wounds, look really scary, fight to the death, intimidate, ignore fire, drink kegs of ale, punch out rude oxen, leave a trail of destruction at a moment’s notice
  Background: Scot or Pict, German
• Bloodthirsty Crone
  Appease the Earth, assure fertility, inflict curse on the wicked, lift curse from community, conduct human sacrifice (only when necessary), stop plague
• Druid
  Sacrifice prisoners (only when absolutely necessary), predict weather, answer questions with riddles, invoke the powers of nature, perform bizarre rituals
  Variations: Rebel Druid, Village Druid, Wandering Druid
• Savage
  Be primitive, hunt and forage, wear skins and paint, know about animals and plants and spirits, sleep lightly, be perplexed by foreign ways

EMPLOYMENT

• Poor Jobs
  Beggar, Client, Dole Recipient, Litter Bearer, Low-Income Teacher, Miner, Street Guide, Street Thief, Street Vendor, Streetwalker, Tenant farmer, Work Gang farmer
• Struggling Jobs
  Auxiliary Soldier, Barber, cart Driver, Cook, Sign Writer, Slave Cook, Small Store Owner, Street magician, Street Porter
• Average Jobs
  Astrologer, bath masseur, Bodyguard, Cheap lawyer, Elementary Teacher, Gladiator, Legionary, Minor Civil Servant, Minor Priest, Personal Attendant, Sailor, Scribe, Shop Owner, Skilled Craftsman, Slave Administrator, Slave Entertainer, Small Farm Owner
• Comfortable Jobs
  Artist, Augur, Bank Secretary, Building Administrator, Charioteer, Civil Servant, Corrupt Civil Servant, Doctor, Gladiator manager (Lanista), Lawyer, Legionary Officer, Merchant, Praetorian Guard, Provincial Tax Collector, Rhetoric Teacher
• Wealthy Jobs
  Banker, Building Owner, Imperial Favorite, Large Land Owner, Provincial Governor

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